Process and Mindfulness

I posted “rental space for dream catches, Sketch 1” today and here are some thoughts that I have on the process leading to the painting.

While in the practice and routine of painting daily, I am often questioning my subject matter and style. Over time I’ve learned that it is best to set goals, which helps to lessen this constant questioning. But often those thoughts still creep in… when you’re painting what you are seeing everyday, you notice similarities with each season, patterns, colors, lighting, and when the seasons change, I often get thrown off and through a loop. I’ll need to change my pallet and even style to represent this change,

, and it is here where I struggle most, first technically, but this technical struggle often leads to an almost spiritual struggle. This struggle will begin with doubts about my process and technique, cascading into deeper doubts into the reasons I paint in the first place. I search for the answer through painting, not to sound too cliche or corny, but it feels like an abstract form of brainstorming by using paint to sort out my thoughts. I continue to create new paintings through this time of uncertainty and It’s interesting to see my style steer more abstract as this happens. And as time passes, and my thoughts settle, I begin to become more comfortable with the new season and the process reverses itself and I steer back to a more balanced harmonious state, both mentally and technically. … I find it important to stay mindful of this cycle and mindful in general as I navigate this lifestyle of being a painter. It’s wonderful at times, even the challenges are wonderful, because when I stay mindful, I gain knowledge from every painting that I make, knowledge about painting, myself, and life in general.